she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
