ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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