I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I AM VODKA MAN
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
