i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
