hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
