Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
only if we run a train.
done.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
