i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
