Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
