When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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