I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
