So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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