Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
