I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
