We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
