love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
