how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
