How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
