one might say we're banned from that church
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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