mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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