worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
