there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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