It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
