So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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