dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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