idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
