Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
