well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
