you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
