I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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