Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
