so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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