Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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