I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
