hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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