would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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