Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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