I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dicks are not precious.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
