I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Less talking, more tequila
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
