even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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