she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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