I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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