Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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