i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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