we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
