There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
