I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize