theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
