it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
