I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
