So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
