Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
