I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
