This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
