The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
