I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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