cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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