There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize