I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
