he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
