i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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