I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
